Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
