I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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