hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
