I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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