Define "chronic" masturbator.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
