I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
