I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize