But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
