Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
