Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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