My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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