Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
honey bunches of taint.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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