Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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