Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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