I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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