I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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