I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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