no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
