Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize