I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
