And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
