Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
