i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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