Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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