i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize