Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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