Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
