I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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