Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
