Whod you bang
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
