That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
