That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
