he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
