I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
