so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
