My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
