What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
