I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
