Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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