Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
