I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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