I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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