come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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