Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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