Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
