so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
