What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i now understand why vodka
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
