Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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