This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
In America we eat man semen.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
