he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
