Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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