bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
