When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
