I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
