Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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