She's JV to your varsity
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
