I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
