Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
