watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
