just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
