I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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