Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
