is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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