Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize