how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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