Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just sent this text using only my big toe
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
