Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
