They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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