is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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