White coat. Heels.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
