Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
