He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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