Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
