I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize