Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
